Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Thoughts on Men and Romance

I've been single for a while. Actually, I've either been single or in an unhealthy relationship for the majority of my adult life. I look at myself and the men I've been involved with and I wonder if I haven't completely ruined my chances of being happy with a relationship because of my love for books and writing.
I've been reading romance novels most of my life. I've always been drawn to the alpha males with the little edge of compassion who can sweep the woman off her feet while keeping the evil bad guys from getting her. These are the men I'm drawn to in fiction but do they really exist in life?
I've dated a lot of alpha men and most, if not all, of them had little to no compassion and rarely did anything for me that could be considered caring or courageous. Mostly they took from me everything I was willing to give including money and sex while giving almost nothing in return.
As for the men I write, I try to write strong men who are loving and compassionate, but I honestly work harder to write strong women who can love these men but who do not need them to save them.
I want to be more like my heroines. I want to not need the man but it sure would be nice to have one around. It would be nice to find a strong man who is secure enough to not need to demonstrate his strength by bashing everyone around him into pulp. It would be nice to be with someone who valued me and my strength more than anything I can give them.
So until I find this nebulous ideal, I'll keep writing the men I wish I could love and the women I wish I could be.

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And my big project (written under my real name Shari Malin) Immortalz Atlanta